On my mind tonight...

First of all, and foremost on my mind tonight, is that Aunt Flo has finally decided to grace me with her presence.  Now, in the past I have really complained, with reason too, about my monthly period.  Not this time.  This is the first period I will have started since my miscarriage.  My body is finally getting back on track so for now I am appreciative of the back pain, bloating, and cramps.  This is hope.  This is what I cling to.

Back on the trying to conceive crazy train though.  Eric and I have decided that since none of the drugs I was on prevented the miscarriage that I won't be going back on them.  Maybe I said that in a previous post already?  It's late -- sue me.  The only drug I might get back on is the Metformin.  I liked how it allowed me to lose some weight and I didn't crave sweets.

On that line of thinking -- weight loss, appetite -- I have finally decided to get off my butt and do something about my weight gain.  Eric and I just started P90 X Insanity.  It is BRU-TAL!  As I type this, my arms and chest (or..pectorals and triceps, if you will) are aching and complaining.  I find that wonderful.  I have done three of the workouts.  One of which I have finished.  Now, now. Don't judge.  Do one of these workouts, even if you don't have a weight problem, and I challenge you to finish the entire thing!  Anyway, enough of my defensive writing.  I am doing this!  Going to lose all this weight.  And since I am doing this before I am pregnant -- I get to do it while I am pregnant too.

All my workouts so far are heavily modified.  I can't do the stretches, or lunges, or push ups, or whatever you want to call all those other torture..umm I mean, most worthwhile exercises.  If I can do the amount of reps the instructor shouts out I certainly cannot jump as high or jog as fast.  Or if I cannot manage the reps I can at least do what I can do a little faster or with "more power".  More POWER!! Is shouted ad nauseaum in these workout clips. A confession: I have feelings for this instructor.  Deep and sincere.  Akin to hatred. 

Quite possibly I might love him when I start seeing my body change back into what I think is acceptable for myself.  I'll let you know of course.

Oh yeah.  I almost forgot.  My boobs.  No, that didn't sound quite right.  I mean I have something to say about them (not that they don't speak for themselves).  I have found I need a good solid contraption in which to trust them while I strive for "MORE POWER!!" as I exercise.  I have two sports bras, only one of which I can find right now..but I digress.  So the first workout was ok, not too much jumping around.  But the second one hmm how do I describe this?  You know the sound of quickly peeling tape off something?  Ok, thats exactly the sound I expected to hear during this workout.  I thought my boobs were going to give up and leave.  Thats what it looked like too -- they were trying to escape!! I swear they were.

After doing a lot of research I decided that I need a couple really good sports bras.  Second, they are too expensive right now.  My solution?  Wear a regular good fitting bra under the compression sports bra I already have.  Viola!  Issue solved.  Thanks to several ladies on Facebook who recommended that remedy.

I won't say on here how much weight I am trying to lose.  Most of you who know me in persona already have a good idea.  But I will say what I have lost as I start to see progress.  I am really excited about feeling better, being more healthy, looking better and being a better example for Hannah.

Hannah starts Pre-school this week!  I am so proud and so excited.  More on that later :)