I have an addiction, it is a very hard thing to admit.
*stands up*
"Hello, my name is Jamie B. and I am addicted to peeing in a cup, then testing it for anything related to getting pregnant."
*sits down*
Anyone nodding their heads in understanding? Anyone laughing? Good, you're supposed to. However this is really a serious thing for me. Eric told me tonight that I am a bonafied testing addict.
I tested today. And got a test line visible, but I am not sure if it is a positive or an evaporation line. Evap lines are really common and I have had them before...but this line does look a bit different to me. We shall see tomorrow. I got some of the good tests -- as I type that I picture myself telling you that in a dark alley with shifty eyes. All drug dealer-ish. These are the highest rated tests on the market. No Internet cheapies this time. And I will take one tomorrow morning.
Here's where I have made strides in my addiction. While purchasing "the goods", I decided I needed some help. Like I told Eric tonight -- I have NO self control, if there is a test in the house I have to take it. It's bad!! Not only am I wasting money, but I am just setting myself up for failure by testing too early. It is a roller-coaster of emotions, and more often than not, I just end up wanting to cry when I finally get Aunt Flo. It is very difficult to feel like you're doing everything right, only to have a negative outcome month, after month, after month, after month......
So my decision is this: After tomorrows test I have asked Eric to hide the rest. I will not go looking for them. I know this because he always tells me where he puts my holiday/birthday gifts and I have never looked at them. But if I know they are unavailable I will be able to focus on other things. I will be free.
It is pretty pathetic that at 32 years old I cannot control my lust for peeing in a cup. So I resort to this step of self-intervention...*sigh*
I will let you know how the test comes out in the morning some time. :)
*stands up*
"Hello, my name is Jamie B. and I am addicted to peeing in a cup, then testing it for anything related to getting pregnant."
*sits down*
Anyone nodding their heads in understanding? Anyone laughing? Good, you're supposed to. However this is really a serious thing for me. Eric told me tonight that I am a bonafied testing addict.
I tested today. And got a test line visible, but I am not sure if it is a positive or an evaporation line. Evap lines are really common and I have had them before...but this line does look a bit different to me. We shall see tomorrow. I got some of the good tests -- as I type that I picture myself telling you that in a dark alley with shifty eyes. All drug dealer-ish. These are the highest rated tests on the market. No Internet cheapies this time. And I will take one tomorrow morning.
Here's where I have made strides in my addiction. While purchasing "the goods", I decided I needed some help. Like I told Eric tonight -- I have NO self control, if there is a test in the house I have to take it. It's bad!! Not only am I wasting money, but I am just setting myself up for failure by testing too early. It is a roller-coaster of emotions, and more often than not, I just end up wanting to cry when I finally get Aunt Flo. It is very difficult to feel like you're doing everything right, only to have a negative outcome month, after month, after month, after month......
So my decision is this: After tomorrows test I have asked Eric to hide the rest. I will not go looking for them. I know this because he always tells me where he puts my holiday/birthday gifts and I have never looked at them. But if I know they are unavailable I will be able to focus on other things. I will be free.
It is pretty pathetic that at 32 years old I cannot control my lust for peeing in a cup. So I resort to this step of self-intervention...*sigh*
I will let you know how the test comes out in the morning some time. :)
1 comment:
I had that addiction one time too! (: looking forward to hearing about it in the morning!
also, I have that addiction with cookies.. justin has to hide them in the house somewhere and I promise not to beg him for them. (:
Gwen
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